April 29, 2006 was the day that my family lost one of it's most important members, my Grandpa Bob Dean Cole. He was my mom's, Renee's, dad. He was the person who always made sure that we were all always taken care of, that we had what we needed and a lot of times what we wanted. He gave me my first pager, my first cell phone, my first car. But more importantly he gave me a Grandpa. Most of you know that Renee is my step mom, though I call her mom, and we became a part of each other's lives when I was 4 years old. She became my Mom when I was 6 and she married my dad. Her family immediate became our family, from her brother my Uncle Mark to her Mom and Step dad, my Grandma and Grandpa Clarence and also her dad my Grandpa Bob. Though we didn't always get along, especially in my teen years, he loved me and was one of the grandpas I never had. My dad's dad left when he was 5 and my mom's, Debbie's, dad is a monster. So here we were 2 little girls who needed a Grandpa to love and have memories with. And he did just that, and then some. He used to call us (my sister and I) "Pretty" (or as he said it purdy) and he did the things that a Grandpa is supposed to do, spoil us. He lived with us for a long time, which made us closer (and sometimes made it harder). I will always remember, above all, how much love he had for our family, how much he adored us and what a fabulous great grandpa he was to Ryan, who absolutely adored him in return. When he passed, I had a lot of regret for the things that I didn't say to him. Like how much I loved and appreciated him, no matter what happened between us. I know that he knew in his heart but when you loose someone that significant to you, you feel terrible that you didn't actually say those words out loud to them. So on the day of his memorial, he was cremated, I read this poem out loud that I wrote for him:
It's never too late
to say what you feel
my emotions are overwhelming
but I know they are real
It's never too late
to kiss and make up
if you love some one you don't just give up
It's never too late
to forgive and forget
there's nothing worse than living with regret
It's never too late
to embrace your hand with mine
all I wanted to say there just wasn't enough time
You were there when others failed to do there job
Looking back all I can do is sob
Life isn't perfect and we all know that
But you were always my grandpa and that's a fact
So now you're gone
And I am trying to move on
I just wanted to say Thank you and I'll miss you every single day
One more thing before you enter Heaven's gate
I love you and forgive you
I just hope I'm not too late
My Grandpa was a family man, he loved nothing more than his family and he did all he could to make sure we were happy. I wish he could have been here for everything but especially for all the events I know he would have enjoyed the most. Such as: my sister's wedding, the birth of my nephew Zachary (who's middle name is for him, Dean), my engagement, my mom's graduation, my wedding and all the special events in life that are yet to come. I miss him all the time. Though my regret has gotten better in the past 3 years, I still have a small amount. I guess you always do in my situation.
If I could say anything to him now it would be: I love you and I'm sorry.
R.I.P Bob Dean Cole aka Dad, Grandpa, Pops, and Great Grandpa.
Lots of Love,
Your Granddaughter always Amber a.ka. Purdy
Posts
